How to save sex after many years of family life

Over time, many couples encounter the phenomenon of cooling of attraction, until its complete disappearance. About how to restore it after years of marriage, said the psychologist Vladimir Lobanov.
Unfortunately, there are no methods like: click here, rub there, and everything will certainly work out. Sometimes even to the place of attraction there is an aversion to the partner. To his body and various bodily manifestations. After all, sex is just physical practice. Sex is so arranged that a man cannot control an erection if it is not there. And a woman cannot control her arousal if it does not appear.
A rather common story in a long-term relationship, when sex goes away, but jealousy remains even harder. When accusations, suspicion, control, resentment and claims flourish, which, in turn, the very possibility of sexual arousal occurrence is completely killed. To fall into guilt with shame and torture yourself with the question “what is wrong in me” is a waste of labor. Better remember a classic pair of characters: a young lady and a bully.
The bully here is not without purpose. Where mischief, humor, lightness, where the carnival mood and hooliganism, where they rule spontaneity and excitement, where your energy and desires, there is walking and your sex. All this is poorly amenable to organization and badly fits into an orderly, “correct” life. However, sex with mistresses and lovers, too, is not to say that it fits comfortably into an orderly, “correct” life. Moreover, a hooligan – he is really a hooligan. Hence, the frequent female task of choosing between one man, who according to all data would be an ideal husband, but not boring and sexually exciting, and another, on whom it is impossible to rely and with whom everything is difficult, but for some reason sex is good.
Hence the first one, it’s also the last recommendation in the topic “is there sex after 15 years of marriage?”. There is, if you succeed sometimes hooligans together. How exactly hooliganism, it is better to invent yourself. But it is recommended to do this, if only because, in and of itself, tomfoolery and fun bring pleasure and improve the atmosphere in the relationship. Conversely, sex disappears when there is a lot of resentment and passive aggression in a relationship. The simplest and most understandable manifestation of passive aggression is demonstrative silence. But the forms of passive aggression are endless. It is better not to focus on actions. Because everything is done exactly this way: “I’m that, and I’m nothing … just keep quiet, I just don’t want anything”. It is important to listen to the feelings and sensations.

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